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Page name: Memoirs of a nun [Logged in view] [RSS]
2009-05-20 23:52:10
Last author: sequeena_rae
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Brought to you by [sequeena_rae] and Sister Lisa; [starry_bellend]


There is a moral to every story...Except this one.
Mwahahaha.






This wiki is for Sister Lisa. She has decided to become a nun. Yes, a nun.


Sister Lisa's journey in pictures. Additional words by [sequeena_rae]


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Past memoirs are kept here: Memoirs.


New! Memoirs talks!






Memoirs of a nun in words by [starry_bellend]


Entry nine - The mods versus count Dracula!

After enjoying a steak and ale pie in the greyhound, I made my way in the dead of night towards a run down old building in the middle of Transylvania (I am forced to reside here these days after being removed from every other fucking country on the face of the planet!). I was then joined by my good friend Sarah.

Before entering the building I took out the holy blood of Christ and blessed the building by downing the bottle. We then proceeded inside and were greeted by one hell of a fucking shit hole. We thought fuck it God will keep us safe and so we got down to it (sleeping that is).

We had been asleep but 10 minutes when I was roused by a strange voice, which I thought in my drowsy state was calling "I vant to suck your breast" but I was later informed by my companion that it was actually my blood that he wanted. We stood up and stared at the creature. "Right! I've had enough of this fucking shit! Piss off out now before we're forced to beat you down!" With that Sarah was wrestled to the floor by the being and a syringe was stuck in her neck. I was in shock as he drew blood from my friend. He then squirted some into his mouth and the remainder was squirted into the face of an old woman who happened to be passing through the building. He than made his way towards me and I gave him my best "I cant believe you've just egged me" eyes. I could do nothing but use my holy powers to pray to god. I fell to my knees and began chanting "Neef neef neef neef". I was then joined in my chant by Sarah from the floor. We finally realised that this wasn't going to work and I resigned myself to my fate. He lifted up the syringe to my neck when suddenly he bent over and squealed.

It was only then that I realised that Sarah had stuck a light bulb in his japs eye, and that he was now paralysed. Before running for our lives we stood for a minute and laughed until we shat ourselves.

We then ran, to where who knows but I'll tell you one thing, the fucking wind blew off my habit, and I had to make a prick of myself chasing after it down the street. We then decided that we would travel to Paris to see if the virgin Mary really has bleeding eyes, and also to see ZA BOYZ in concert on the 15th.


To be continued...





This wiki is a piss take.
In other words, you get offended, it's bloody tough.


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2006-10-17 [starry_bellend]: lmfao!! this was my own radio edited version:P

2006-10-17 [Corazie]: Bickering :P

2006-10-17 [The Blood Angel]: *grins* yep *Lights bonfire* Who wants lisa burgers? :p

2006-10-17 [sequeena_rae]: ...I think my sister just took a photo of Bandi cleaning his balls.
o.O;
;O.o
Pam fi Duw?

2006-10-17 [starry_bellend]: lmao what would freud say lol ? and we dotn bicker lmao:P right im off now see you all soon ( see you tomorrow sar ) :P

2006-10-17 [The Blood Angel]: Great! Now my burger just left *glomps*

2006-10-17 [sequeena_rae]: We're just sarcastic as fuck xD
See you love :P

2006-10-18 [Stephen]: Holy hell. I almost regret clicking on that...

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: I did warn you xD

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: You almost regreted... I nearly chucked a bucket! :p

2006-10-18 [Stephen]: Well, I have a strong stomach. That's scary though. My poor innocent eyes are forever scarred. :P

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: LoL I was ill at the time of seeing it. :p

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Get over it xD It's a man with some fish up his arse, quite a normal sight really xD

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: Maybe for the welsh ;)

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Well aye mun :P
You Scots are wusses xD

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: Na we scots just have common sense and desency :p

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: You? Common sense and decency? Since when did they go in the same sentence? :P

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: oh it happens all the time outside wales :p

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Liar xP

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: LoL No I aint :p

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Stop lying :P

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: I never lie

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Liar xD
This is too easy xP

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: Well just stay in your welsh box then :p

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Ah fuck off xP

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: hehehehe

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: lamo what in the name of god have i missed lmao?

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: *innocence* Nothing xD

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: lmao just a little friendly racist banter i see lmao

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Pfft, perhaps xD

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: lmao i take it we have more fans of the fish arse club!

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Probably not xD I think it may only be us :( XD

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: aww fuck it we are the best !!

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Of course we are :D How was driving? XD

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: lmao it was orite, i didnt end up going till 3 coz she had a dentist appointment or some shit lol, i went to neath and cimla then pontrhydyfen and home lol all in all it was ...well...shit !:P

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Was you on a burst though? xD

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: um, to put it bluntly, no :( but she did say it was a hard route, she kept grabbin the wheel off me because i was "going to close to parked cars" and i scrapped the curb once :P but that was in cwmavon so the roads were tight lol, she pissed me off a treat

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: xD Did you go down Cwmavon road then? That's always a bitch
What did she do? xD

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: yeah i did like, it is hard as hell mind like driving at such a high speed round them bends lk i was shitting myself, she was like oh you have to change the gears yourself and then she was fucking telling me when to do it!!:@ bloody trout! lmao I went up the dual towards briton ferry though and i was doing 70 :) it was scary but oh the adrenaline lmao

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: 70? Bloody hell lmao
Something strange happened then. The writing in here got tiny o.o;

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: probably due to my essays lol

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Most bloody likely xD

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: lol yeah it was kinda shit i tell you what though its bloody nackering, i dont see how people can cope doing long distance drives, my brain overloaded lol

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Yeah well, this is you we're talking about xD

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: lol it fucks me up mun i hate having to concentrate i get easily distraced by random birds n shit lol

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: *Grins* Don't worry about your driving, after a few more lessons you should get a sense of your suroundings.

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Distracted by birds? xD

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: yes, even the little things get my attention lmao (be scared)

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: I am o.o; Trust me, I am

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: Thank god I'm in scotland... Kidding :p

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: lmao! read that sentance again, it could be so perverted lol

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Only your mind would notice that xD

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: ye i wondered why boobies man was so scared:P another freudian slip lmao

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Duw duw Lisa, duw duw xD

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: I noticed it too but I actually thought it was too easy. Small things arouse simple minds :p

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Then you're both very simple for noticing it XP

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: well well, i have a complex mind so that dig obviously wasnt aimed at me eg/ noticed how i tucked daisy up over the present participle earlier lmao

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Notice the way she was so short with you?
I nearly leant over and ripped her eyeballs out ¬_¬

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: lmao ini lk i u shoulda seen my face lmao when josh actually agreed with my my eyes widened i think thats why she was so short lmao i smiled in satisfaction ha ha ha fuckin ha ha

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Her and her hooked nose that I've never noticed before ¬_¬
Bah, the beast of the deep is telling me to get off. I'll meet you at the bust stop tomorrow same time lol see you love xxxxxxx

2006-10-18 [starry_bellend]: orite lmao byeeee night xxx

2006-10-18 [sequeena_rae]: Niiiiiight xD

2006-10-18 [The Blood Angel]: LOL beast of the deep :p

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: Yes that is what she is! We are the best sar!

2006-10-19 [Estantia]: hey wait a minute, if seq is god, doesn't that mean she can order sister lisa around?

2006-10-19 [The Blood Angel]: Sar! god! Now thats the funniest thing I've heard in a while.

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: where the fuck was god mentioned?

2006-10-19 [The Blood Angel]: last two posts :p

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: yeah lol but who said that she was god? :P

2006-10-19 [The Blood Angel]: Squee has claimed Devinity before :p

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: oh right, well i have a memory like a goldfish ....what was i saying :P but i can imagine her doing that lol, she loves to dominate me :P its because of the height advantage

2006-10-19 [The Blood Angel]: She likes to 'dominate' you eh. Hope she doesn't beat you too much :p

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: I beat her with studded belts.
No that wasn't sarcasm. Yes, what I have just written is completely true.
And I love to dominate you because I know you will submit Lis >:D XD
And yes, I am God. Believe it <3

2006-10-19 [Estantia]: I was expecting you to remember that Lisa, she only claims it in her house :P and mine I think..

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: I'm Lily tossing Savage now in my house :P

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: lmao yeah i did notice!

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: I had to get it in lmao xD

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: lol slugz are us ini :P slugs beware i am on a mission!

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: Zomg! :o *scared*

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: lmao dont be scared my friend, youll be dreaming of me tonight, violent kicking a slug to a gruesome death! mwahahahahahahahahahah

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: Sweet dreams are made of these X)

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: but who am i to disagree?

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: I travel the world and the seven seas xD

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: I've been to Harlem, I've been to Dover
I've travelled this wide world all over
Over over three times over
Drink what you want to drink then turn the glasses over
Sailing east, sailing west, sailing over the ocean
but you better watch out when the boat begins to rock or you'll lose your baby in the ocean
*bows* xD

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: everybody's looking for something!(or is it someone i dunno)

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: Yes! xD

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: lmao go monky go monky!!

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: I've just realised, whereas you can learn a language easily, the capacity I have for songs and the like is never ending o.o;

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: or mr mong! lol

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: Mr. Monk was le awesome xD

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: Oh yeah! Courtesy of Gemma xD

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: lmao the endless talents of the mods lmao!

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: Well aye mun, we're flipping awesome :D

2006-10-19 [starry_bellend]: You can say that again(dont) :P

2006-10-19 [sequeena_rae]: Well aye- Bollocks ¬_¬

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao!

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: You know me too well ;-;

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lol i know, its all good up untill the part where we read each others minds lol that could get strange :P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Yeah o.o; tis quite freaky I admit xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: ini lk maybe we were separated at birth. lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Considering the fact I was born 3 months earlier than you, I doubt it xD

2006-10-29 [Estantia]: now imagine meeting someone in your dream when you've only heard of them from a friend :P

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: why has that happened to you?

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: I'd call that an overactive imagination :P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Bordering on stalking.

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao why? Have you dreamt about me?

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: Did anyone ever notice the shit on ifishmans fingers? have another look :P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: All the time lmao xD
*goes check*

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Eww xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao!!

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Only you would notice that xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: pmsl :P i am the devil in disguise lol

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: You don't need a bloody disguise lmao

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao oh are the horns that obvious??

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Sadly yes xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: Bollocks ! and the tail with an arrow on the end lmao?

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: *checks*
Yep xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: damn! and i was doing do well :P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: *pet pet* It happens to the best of us xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao! yes apparently so ;P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Rem x)

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: fellow rem x) < thought we had to be equal lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Oh damn you!!! XD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao its ok we can be rems together :P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: ...Why does this scare me? xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: um, i dont know :P * sings postman pat* :P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: omg I saw a hilarious video of that the other day xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao please dont say it involved him riding jess bare back?

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Oh good god no xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao ok then :P never mind lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Bloody pervert xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lol oh duw duw mun ;P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: :o are you implying that I am a pervert? XD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: no i said nothing of the sort lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: That was sarcasm T_T
Sarcasm is angers ugly friend remember xP

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: um, does that make you anger then :P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Why yes of course XD!!!

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lol well what can i say sarcasm is my middle name according to rob anyway along with bastard lol

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Very fitting I'd say xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lol ahha omg fucking fireworks what the point at this time of day you cant see the fuckers anyway lk lol

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: *rolls eyes* I mean wtf? Sad bastards xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: ini lk. Omg though when we get bk to college, well be coming home in the dark :D ohh i love it lol

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Oh yesh!!!

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao sounding a bit reminiscent of the churchill dog there sar lol

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: :o how dare thee!

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lol oohhh yesss! lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: o.O; Orgasm? xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: not quite lmfao! i havent got any food at the moment lol. Oh you know what i could quite happily mange now :P dougnuts :) mmm

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Oh god lis, have vegetable bake, have it cold over cooked potatoes and vegetables, the cheese sauce is fucking stunning!

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao ok you will have to show it to me next time we happen to be in tescos it sounds nice :)

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Yeah, we'll make it!! :D

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: mmmm yes look at the masterchefs by yuh now :P omstunnin though :) do you find that sunday dinners fill you for about an hour then your fucking starving again? lol

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Yesh, it's the fucking gravy xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: ini like is a cunt lol :P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: ...That just sounds wrong! XD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao! oh trust u lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: What do you mean trust me? You're the one that wrote it! xD

2006-10-29 [Corazie]: When's the nest installment?

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: *reads Lisa's mind* When she can be bothered aka soon xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao!!! listen to her she knows a lot :P ill do it tomorrow for yall after ive finished stocking up on beer and decorating the house for our rendez vous on tues :P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: omg *squeals* I can't wait!!!!

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: ini im going to make a big partay cd tomorrow with all the shit on so ill be asking for suggestions lol

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Oh well I'll be in there lmao

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: good good can always do with some expert advice lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: *will be the dj* xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: yeah dj humourist lmao
or dj nothing lk a bit of fraud before breakfast lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: *freakyfreaky!!!*
Oh yeah >:D

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao well be the bernie haters lol

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: We should make a club lmao

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: yeah! im sure wed get at least four other members (not including elenors class) lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Pfft, yeah well, they're slags T_T

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: oh ini lk who goes in with their tits hanging out *has flash back to what i was wearing on friday* lmao

2006-10-29 [Estantia]: Too much info!!!

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: *snicker* Yes, hanging low is the word for a Friday xD

lmao!

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: wtf?

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Oh I don't know lmao

At least we got Diasy a treat XP

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao !! twins as lucy says ini lmao, oh i know that was fuckin legendary !

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Lmao!
The tops looked nothing alike pmsl xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: ini lk different colours different patterns lmao shes from neath what do you expect lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Oh yeah, and she lurves Bernie remember XD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: oh yeah thats two marls against her name lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: I notice she hasn't brought any apples lately though :o

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao ini lk she even went as far as tinned pineaple last term lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: ...She did not!!! :o

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: yes i am in shock too lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: :O *gives doughnuts*

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: mmmm *drewls* < lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: *gives bucket also* XD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao! drewl thats not even the word isi lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: Well yeah, but I think it's spelt drool xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: lmao!! oh well you win some you lose some lmao

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: In your case, you lose. A lot xD

2006-10-29 [starry_bellend]: yes i know :( im bad :P

2006-10-29 [sequeena_rae]: I should whip you :P

2006-10-30 [starry_bellend]: yes, if it pleases you lol, ive already been spanked in the middle of victoria gardens lmao :P

2006-10-30 [sequeena_rae]: >:D Bet that Jehovah's witness had a thrill xD

2006-10-30 [starry_bellend]: lmao ini or the shock of her life :P

2006-10-30 [sequeena_rae]: Or that xD

2006-10-30 [starry_bellend]: lol good times sar good times :p

2006-10-30 [sequeena_rae]: It'll go down in history xD

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